Today marks two years since my Mum passed.
This time has both flown by and felt like an eternity. Some days I feel
gutted, ripped off. Other days I feel the full weight of gratitude for four
decades of memories shared.
Two years ago Mum took her rightful leave of passage and left me to
stand on my own two feet. At first, it felt as if the rug had been pulled out
from under me, but now I’m starting to get a sense that I am, and will be, ok. As
I write this, I can still hear Mum say “I’m so proud of you and the woman you
have become”.
She mothered me as much as I needed. In fact, Mum had essentially
stopped mothering me a long time ago, instead walking by my side. I know now
that was difficult for her to take that step back from the role she chose and
gave her all for so many years.
To anyone who is new loss, know that you will have days where you feel
the full, suffocating weight of your beloved’s absence. There are also many
days when it feels natural to smile and celebrate what you shared and what you
have yet to experience for you are still here .... and that’s absolutely ok!
Today I choose to be joyful. Not just to honour Mum, because that’s
what she would have wanted, but because I am still here and have the rest of my
life to look forward to. For some reason things have worked out this way and I need
to trust that everything happens for a reason even if it’s not apparent right
now what that reason is.
To wallow in misery or guilt may be what seems to come naturally in a
time of loss, but is actually going against your true nature, that’s why it
feels so damn uncomfortable! My Mum loved to smile, dance and laugh, this is what
is natural for all of us.
Joy is your true nature, and
it is the simplest form of gratitude.
Please leave your comments&
feedback: select "Anonymous" or "Name/URL" if you don't
have a google account.
Green
Tree Frog. © Renee Chamberlin all rights reserved.
Image
available as prints, canvases, cards and more. To purchase click here
