One Morning ...

Each morning I walk in the forest, propelled by the needs of a certain dog, and knowing that it is good for this one also.

Usually, I am completely surrounded and consumed by a myriad of thoughts; busy looking at the ground to carefully place each step lest I trip and fall on the rocky substrate. Unawares of what magic surrounds me.

This morning was different. This morning was so exquisitely beautiful that it literally stopped me in my tracks.

And I became aware that a masterful performance was taking place all around me.

And I knew that this performance was just for me.

For my canine companion was busy doing her thing. And the birds and wildlife were a part of the show – the actors, dancers, singers and extras. The trees, plants, earth, spider webs, fog, and dew forming the stage set, a living backdrop.

And I was the only other one in the forest, blessed beyond words, gazing in awe and wonder.

Reminded that each morning on entering the the forest, I can walk drowning in my own thoughts.

Or, move in silence, lift my gaze, and simply enjoy the show.

 

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One Morning. © Renee Chamberlin all rights reserved.

   

 

You are the sky everything else is just the weather

Destination: unf*ckwithable.

I don’t usually do new year’s resolutions but this year is different. Actually it’s different for several reasons, not just the obvious change to everything that has been synthesised by a second lap around the sun dealing with a global pandemic.

For the first time I started the year without a crystal clear plan but with the firm knowledge that I will never do a standard 9 to 5 job for a boss woman (or man) again. Hallelujah!

By unf*ckwithable I don’t mean non-caring or apathetic, nor do I mean that I plan to be a door mat. Far from the truth! It’s just a newly formed life goal to be able to accept with grace and ease whatever live throws at me. For me, the word unf*ckwithable sums this state up nicely, however for those of you who aren’t fans of the ‘f’ word, a more refined term would be equanimity.

And isn’t this a great time to practice equanimity?

Whatever people around me choose to do and say and whatever I observe happening around me ... my aim is to ride the crests of the waves rather than getting dumped as they crash down over the top of me.

In reality, all this means is freedom! In actuality, it is being true to your authentic nature.

As Pema Chodron so eloquently says, you are the sky and the rest of what you see, feel, hear, and do is just the weather. The best part is that while you are here in earth school, you get to shape the type of weather you experience.

There are several ways you can determine your own internal climate: practice awareness, acceptance, gratitude, and compassion; get grounded, meditate, laugh, hang out with an animal, be childlike, hug someone, hug yourself, eat chocolate, exercise (yoga is great) ...

The reality is that you can still have a great day regardless of what ‘good’ or ‘bad’ things happen during your day. If you deliberately create a consistently calm internal climate, external influences are less likely to derail you.

So, what can you do today to be a little bit more unf*ckwithable?

 

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Ocean rain clearing. © Renee Chamberlin all rights reserved.

Things that mind don’t matter and things that matter don’t mind.

I am currently reading “The Untethered Soul” recommended by a wise and trusted mentor. In this book, Michael A. Singer likens the mind to a crazy roommate living in our heads which we never hold responsible for the trouble it causes. It’s often wrong, or offers bad advice, and yet we still take instructions from it.

The Buddhist tradition calls it the ‘monkey mind’. Restless, fanciful, confused, uncontrollable. Monkeys are notorious for getting into trouble, so this is a very apt description of the mind!

In my experience the mind is relentless, fast as lightning. It is like the sunshine dancing atop the ocean’s waves. It’s bright, shiny, and captivating. It is true that the mind is necessary, you have to use your brain for many things. Just don’t believe that you are the computer! 

Your truth lies in your depth. 

You are deep, like the ocean. 

The waves are only on the surface. 

What you are is infinite.

This quote may seem familiar, it’s inspired by Dr Seuss’s words “those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” meaning if someone loves you they matter and they don’t criticise you for simply being who you are, whereas those who find fault are not important in your life.

Let’s extend this to things that mind i.e. all the things that the ‘monkey mind’ conjures up which at best are superfluous distractions and at worst cruel, negative, fault finding, and demoralising. The things that are really important in our lives are not of the mind but of the heart and soul.

How do we deal with the ‘monkey mind’? It’s actually super fast and easy. Here, Tibetan Buddhist Master Mingyur Rinpoche eloquently explains in under 2 minutes How to train your monkey mind. There are several methods you can try. It’s more important to find one you resonate with rather than use methods other people suggest but aren’t a great fit. I use a short 10 minute movement meditation which is incredibly powerful - I’m happy to teach to you - just reach out and ask!

What is the reward for not paying so much attention to the mind’s white noise? We are able to enjoy greater peace. This is where we get to know our true selves and can hear the heart and soul’s wisdom.

What is my heart’s wisdom? Go with the flow.

The reward? This morning when greeted by this beautiful sunrise, instead of getting busy making tea, checking emails, etc. I took a few minutes to pause and enjoy it. Then I made a cuppa and wrote this blog. It’s things like this that feed my soul!

What does your soul ask for when you are able to dive deep and quiet your mind?

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Nepalese Monkey. © Renee Chamberlin all rights reserved.

And suddenly you know It's time to start something new and trust the magic of beginnings

As I take some time out to write this morning, the sun is rising on what I normally call ‘hump day’.

But today is no hump day. 

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. 

After 6 years of getting comfortable with a role and its associated title, responsibilities and routines, the whole tree has been shaken and this little apple has busted free.

It is both an ending and a new beginning rolled into one. I’ve been in this situation twice before, but this time is quite different. This time the way events unfolded, and the timing, was not of my choosing.  Perhaps if it were left up to me I would never have leapt out of the comfortable and the known? Which, by the way, is also a type of bondage, a constriction of growth, preventing the reaching of one's full potential.

Today feels like a huge weight has been lifted, and it has been replaced with a vacuum of uncertainty. The truth is that though I have been looking forward to writing something other than compliance documents, having some more time to do all these things that I’ve been pushing aside ‘until I get the time’, and moving into a career where hump day is not a relevant concept (because a day at work is just as enjoyable as a day off), there is some trepidation about where this is going to lead me.

Am I going to be successful in making a desired career change?

Am I going to love where it takes me?

Is it going to pay the bills and allow me to live a life I am happy with?

The reality is that comfort is not what we’re here for. There is little in life over which we can have complete control (though we may try!) We have to trust in the greater plan and at some times in our lives that lesson rings larger, louder, and truer just to remind us that trust is the best plan forward.

So today instead of marking assignments and overhauling policies and forms, I am going to make ice cream,  start organising my new life and at some point take a nap :) and over the coming days, weeks and months I will start to paint a new picture for my life.

Wish me luck!

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Sunrise at Governer’s Chair. © Renee Chamberlin all rights reserved.

No matter what accomplishments you achieve, somebody helps you.

How many people does it take to make one bowl of porridge?

Let’s start with my recipe:

¼ cup wheat-free oats

¾ cup hazelnut & coconut milk

1 apple

a pinch of cinnamon

Combine oats and milk, place in fridge to soak overnight (this makes the porridge more digestible). Grate in apple, add cinnamon and simmer for 10 minutes.

Now, back to the question.

Somewhere out there is a farmer (or farmers) who planted, tended to, and harvested the oat crop. Then there are people who processed and packed the oats and those who transported them to my local grocery store. It’s fairly safe to assume that the milk, apple and cinnamon were all grown, harvested, processed, packed and transported by different people. Then there are the owners and staff of my local grocery store.

But wait!

All these people couldn’t have done what they did without the families who raised them, teachers who taught them as children, and mentors who trained them in their occupations. And what about the people who designed, produced and shipped the stove, saucepan and spoon? And those who produce and bottle the gas that fuels the stove?

I could keep going but am sure you get the picture by now. It would not be far fetched to say that at least 100 people, most of whom I have never met, have worked to create this seemingly simple breakfast I’m enjoying his morning. Pondering this while devouring my porridge made it taste a whole lot better! I am so grateful for all the people who have chosen a career that I am not interested in, which allows me to live the life I have chosen. By buying and cooking porridge I am supporting them while they live the lives they have chosen.

When the spiritual teachers say that we are all connected, it’s not some hippy, ethereal, hard to fathom concept. It’s a real, concrete and practical hard fact. As are the dishes I now have to wash!

Enjoy your day :)

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Paper daisy pollination. © Renee Chamberlin all rights reserved.

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Joy is the simplest form of gratitude

Today marks two years since my Mum passed.

This time has both flown by and felt like an eternity. Some days I feel gutted, ripped off. Other days I feel the full weight of gratitude for four decades of memories shared.

Two years ago Mum took her rightful leave of passage and left me to stand on my own two feet. At first, it felt as if the rug had been pulled out from under me, but now I’m starting to get a sense that I am, and will be, ok. As I write this, I can still hear Mum say “I’m so proud of you and the woman you have become”.

She mothered me as much as I needed. In fact, Mum had essentially stopped mothering me a long time ago, instead walking by my side. I know now that was difficult for her to take that step back from the role she chose and gave her all for so many years.

To anyone who is new loss, know that you will have days where you feel the full, suffocating weight of your beloved’s absence. There are also many days when it feels natural to smile and celebrate what you shared and what you have yet to experience for you are still here .... and that’s absolutely ok!

Today I choose to be joyful. Not just to honour Mum, because that’s what she would have wanted, but because I am still here and have the rest of my life to look forward to. For some reason things have worked out this way and I need to trust that everything happens for a reason even if it’s not apparent right now what that reason is.

To wallow in misery or guilt may be what seems to come naturally in a time of loss, but is actually going against your true nature, that’s why it feels so damn uncomfortable! My Mum loved to smile, dance and laugh, this is what is natural for all of us.

Joy is your true nature, and it is the simplest form of gratitude.   

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Green Tree Frog. © Renee Chamberlin all rights reserved.

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The best thing you could do for anyone that you love, is be happy!

 

Yesterday was my 10th wedding anniversary. Though to anyone outside of my marriage, it would appeared to have been any other day.

 

There were no cards or gifts, no getting dolled up to go out for a fancy candle-lit dinner. In actual fact, my husband and I only saw each other long enough to have a hug, a kiss and to say goodnight.

 

From outside our very solid partnership, it may appear as if we have fallen out of love, lost our spark, or worse. Au contraire!

 

You see, my husband and I are both going through an extremely busy and somewhat stressful period in our lives. We discussed traditional and modern 10th Anniversary gifts we could buy for each other, and what we might do to celebrate. We both came to the conclusion that it was one more unnecessary task on our burgeoning ‘to do’ lists. Participating in the traditional anniversary expectations was an added stress that neither of us needed nor wanted. And more to the point, neither of us felt the need to do these things in order to express our love for one another.

 

So we both agreed that the most loving thing we could do to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary was absolutely nothing!

 

For our special day, my husband went to work came home did a little housework and enjoyed some peace and quiet and a glass of wine with his dinner. I flew home from an interstate work trip in time to drive straight to my yoga class and arrived home at bedtime. We gave ourselves, and each other, permission to do what we really wanted to do not what tradition dictates we should do.

 

My dear friend Green Queen wrote about a similar situation in her recent She Brisbane article which you can read here. I totally agree with her sentiments. Sometimes the wisest decision is to buck all trends and social expectations and do precisely what your heart tells you.

 

Being true to ourselves, and totally honest with each other, was in actual fact the best anniversary present either of us could receive.

 

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Sulphur-crested Cockatoos. © Renee Chamberlin all rights reserved.

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